These "labels" are just that--labels. They can be helpful in some contexts to "join" with others, while in other contexts they can be stigmatizing and shaming.
There's more to be learned under the surface... What are these behaviors and patterns protecting us from, defending against, re-enacting for us.
Most importantly what does a healthy sexual life look like? And what's in the way?
Consider doing this work in a facilitated group that is not 12-step based nor is abstinence required.